|
|
|
August 30th, 2009
10:25 pm - im irreplacable in your heart?
Fucking low self esteem in me and thanks a lot for bringing me back to memory lane too, and i realised that they are always people around me, caring about me secretly and i really appreciate that. these people are truly my pillars of support. i think these people know who they are.
fucking stop giving your bloody attitude kay.i have my problems too and i fucking do not have the patience to entertain your bitch attitude kay.just fucking reflect on yourself luh. you think you are all right and supported, but im sorry to burst your delusional bubble of yours. seriously hor.
i finally talked to ah beng:) and i can only really open evrything to her. i am not afraid to cry in front of her but just like that hor. i look forward to talk to her everytime and lurbs you ttfm:)
Finally saw that stupid bitchh.heh.i think i overeacted when she told me that she was going to fall ill. i dont know the reasons for my actions. i was very happy thaatt i saw her finally. slept on her bed withh her. her eye was pain, and now my eye is pain. massed,ate lunch and dinner, watched 10 mins of a movie tgt.really miss her although i juat saw her like 1 and a half hours ago. seriously. i really dont know the reasons for my actions and it just makes me want to love her more. it's just unconditional love.speechless.
this goes out to people who are hurt. dude,babe, i know you are inn a very frustrating state now. you have been there for me. now i want to be there for you too. anything text text me kay. hee:) it's not the end of the world,cause you got friends.
"i would hold you tight and tell you everything's going to be fine k?"
Current Mood: ![[mood icon]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/mood/charitycam/goth_girl/curious.gif) indescribable
|
August 29th, 2009
09:21 pm - wish you were still in sjc:(
Fionna, i finally see you today luh hor. we got so much catching up to do. miss you like fuck. wish you were in sjc. love you noisy bitchh. love the pic!
Current Mood: ![[mood icon]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/mood/charitycam/goth_girl/silly.gif) crazy
|
08:08 pm - Desperate Bigtime
internet was down for the last few days.retard.
Actually nothing really happened this week except for it to be very emotionally.yeah. felt frustrated last night.feeling unfit to love her seriously, useless me. yeah. miss certain people especially one, like fuck.i seriously need to talk to you,ahbeng!omgggoshhhh.kill you in your ears luh hor. haha. ill see you tmr! ermm, yup, carnival today and met a lot of people for breakfast. Pocahuntos,Kirthana,Amanda,Tessa,Joanne,Rachel,Esther,Elissa.peanut butter toast,eggs and milk tea.
went to school.boring much.saw goat and yilin. later i saw and met a lot of seniors luh please. even fionna came back. marcel,joanne,sweechoo,JOYCE(sauyan),cheryl soh,and like more luh hor.saw a lot of sec4's too. yeah.but just something was missing.you missed all the fun.thanks ahbeng for everything today.Went for interview,ministry.had cadbury for lunch.fat:( took pic with uncle b!hot dude.me and chels were dancing to obs' mp3.funny much.took bus back and met mama and fam to eat dinner")
Finally,your show is over.missing you over a day is just hard for me and i dont know why.
if,i cant see your face tomorrow,i dont know what to do..
well done today babe, you certainly did a good job in school:)
rest early kay babe and drink hot milo!
in my mind, i see myself being excited
, for i would be meeting you soon.
Current Mood: ![[mood icon]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/mood/charitycam/goth_girl/happy.gif) excited
|
August 26th, 2009
11:50 pm - My heart frowned in the morning but smiled in the afternoon
Seriously, only one person would know why. hee. thanks for like yeah. you know. today its just another futile day. darn it. hee. but what matters most to me, it as this person came down and spend time with me, i think. hee. i think that's the reason luh hor. even if when she sat beside me, i was grateful too. xie xie you so much. Je t'ame ttm
Current Mood: content
|
10:52 pm
Please tell me that it's false when they say friends come and go cause im afraid that i may go.
It may be my thinking of just true, just that things are taking the nature course.
I can feel the possibility of me going off when she's talking instead of me.
Current Mood: curious
|
12:01 am
Shaggededed:(
i was just thinking bout everything that happened last time.
you know. last time.
I hope those fine memories would come back to me one day
Suggestions anyone?
I thought you were angry with me or just feeling something awkward by just talking to me.
i was panicking. Ah beng, Ray, Hilly Billy Goat, Yilin.
They kinda got an idea about my feelings. especially hilly billy goat and yilin.
Fucking scared me to the llama hell.
Im happy that things are fine now and happy:)
if only the memories came now, it would just be the right moment.
i got hell lot of funny things in my head.
Current Mood: content
|
August 24th, 2009
09:41 pm
Every singe one of you are just so importat to me. please. im having problems with myself, not you all too. im very depressed alright. please. no one understands my situation now. seriously. everyone is so oppucied with their wn problems. there's noone that i can talk perfectly open with. no one knows. inside, my heart is just hurting so much . im already so weak mentally. my lj friends page is called pillars of support. there's actuallly a meaning behind it. . im got a lot of my mind and with all of you gone, not being as one, i m real lost. i cant say hello to evryone as a clique. my heart is already very pain cause of myself, dont let it ache more for you all.
Imm sorry. i wanted to say about the picnic but i seriously have no mood to do it. im real lost, where will be that someone , who is willing to take my hand and guide me, support me. i guess that person now is busy with others. everyone is liking the whole world. they ot their problems and i got mine. does this mean by if you dont cherish it now, you may regret it? i guess there is also no one to tell me the answer. cause my friends are busy with life and fights.
i wish that everything will be better and when i wake up tmr, pillars of support would be standing strong, waiting for me to tell me ," Martina, you got to stay strong. For others , For friends, for yourself and need not worrry cause ill be that someone, filling your mental self and be there for you." thats it. i dont know whether ill eat tmr. i didnt eat today so might as well.
Thanks ah beng for that hug and kiss."anything text me kay" That sentence is one who will wait for a friend to say. and she said it to me and i felt that she was already my pillar of support and i can talk to her anytime, cry out to her. that is a friend that i wish for, pray for.
Babe, i know you are feeling frustrated now. Having a inner conflict with your mind.
I just want to let you know that im here every moment. Here with open arms,
prepared to catch you when you fall or when you need a hug.
Im willing to sacrifice myself just for the sake of my loved ones' happiness
which includes you too
Ray, Gay Beng. You are one of the men in my life that have been there for me. Thnaks a lot. You really mean a lot to me. You are the only one that at times where seriously there is no one to turn to, you texted me and and said that you are here for me. i as like touched ttm. You were trying to make me happy during school and you sill owe me my seaweed fries0.0 Thanks. You are like a Brother Sister to me:) Loves you ttfm! Thank God for sending me angels which are just so fine Love all of them<3  
|
August 23rd, 2009
12:35 am
today was just can be describe in a word
AWESOME.
everything went smooth sailing.
DYD, talked. River of Life. MERICULOUS MARTINA
Jasper's "all stand within a piece of a4 paper " game.
Second Segment, IJ Toa Payoh
Praise and Worship, Talk and Sharings, a bit of novena, and A LOT OF SCREAMING, YELLING AND STANDING UP JUMPING.Special Thanks to the Facil of Group 3
-Jubilent Josh(okay luh, 21%)
-Sickening Susanna(That's so her luhh)
-Nice Nicole(so not true)
-Annoying Amerie( This is so a fact under the discovery channel)
My life is in you, Lord
My strength is in you , Lord
My hope is in you, Lord
In you, In you
First Song of the Praise and worship.
I opened up to you during today's rally.
It was all worthwhile, Lord.
Thanks for today.
I really thank you for that.
You were concidentally together with me for every segment today
and THAT'S fishy. hee. Whatever it is, it was nice and i enjoyed it especially the ending hymn of the rally.
we just praised Lord together and danced. Fun TTM:) and hokkien mee and mee pok. We also kena chased by the person, must go back to our seats. Epic much luh please. I'll definitely miss that and hoping for more chances.
The ending was just unpredictable yet perfect.
Today is one of the days that i witnessed true friends.
Being there for one another, understanding and willingly let you be happy.
I am just too lucky and good that i got this type of friends
cause i believe this type of friends are one in a million rare and
trust me, you will never find them here
Because they are mine and taken already.
Although you two were somewhere else, it still felt the same as i knew that we were actually praising together in our hearts.
I really thank everyone for making this day so special to me and memories staying in my heart.
I forgot the second song but i love it and the song"still".
Very meaningful just like how i want everyone's life to be.
"On Wings like eagles"
Current Mood: ecstatic
|
August 21st, 2009
10:59 pm
Why couldn't we've been like that?
just having fun and thinking about no such immature troubles.
Friends forever means that even1. if one cant make it, you should feel sad but understand her situation and let her be happy. 2. one shoould appreciate even when the things that was done by others ws a good or bad thing.
Troubles come.
It hhurts people's feelings too.
If you are a true friend, you wouldnt want your friends to be sad in any case.
you would sacrifice for the sake of the happiness of others.
And not, doing things to them for the sake of your own benefits.
I seriously think that we should all go for a silent reflection.
Reflect on whether are we really a true friend to each other.
Because, even for the sake of others, you are williing to do anything and make things right.
that is what it means by true friendship.
Maybe at this point of time, you are the only one that understands my situation.
"every step of the way i'll be there to take your hand & walk with you"
Quote of the day.
Thannks for the mental support.It really means a lot to me.
I wouldnt know what to do if you were just aint texting me and having fun.
I am still considering the dd:)
You dont want me to suffer so you're willing to do anything.
Well, it's proven a definite fact to me.
"babe, i yearn for your shoulders and warmth when im sleepy"
Current Location: Singapore, Singapore
Current Mood: ![[mood icon]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/mood/charitycam/goth_girl/angry.gif) annoyed
|
August 20th, 2009
10:33 pm - CHOCOLATES NEEDED:(
Addition to the family aint making a llot better, I guess?
But I should just Shout up and sacrifice.
:(
Apple, I really wanna go out with you on Sunday but i got plans before that already.
i WILL DATE YOU OUT ON A PERFECT DAY WITH MCADAM.
Cross my heart-hand up-
Sorry Chels but I LOVE YOU APPLE, MY WIFE(I STILL LOVE YOU CHELSEA, 10 MONTHS)
ONE MORE DAY TO WEEKENDS!
School is just making things worse.
I feel like fuck it, i dont feel the same way as last time.
Things are changing.
Friends come and go,hopefully, mine stay like it is now.
M.C.A.D.A.M
Stays in the heart of yours truly.
Everything is changing and i meant EVERYTHING
From friends to feelings.
I dont know. I dont feel the same way.
I just wanna see you and cherish ever moment with you.
Greed just makes me annoyed and pissed
Hopefully, I'll get over it and be a HAPPY girl
Current Mood: frustrated
|
August 19th, 2009
10:18 pm - What do you treat me for?
Am i your servant? Maybe it's no diff if you're around.
You care about her and not others. Darn you to the effing max luh. "you got me and i got you" This sentence is real reliable and i put my hopes on it Hopefully, my weekend would be an shiok-tastic one.  I WANNA EAT ICE CREAM AND YUMMY CAKES! ANY TAKERS WITH ME? Contacts me and we go together:)
Current Mood: ![[mood icon]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/mood/charitycam/goth_girl/cold.gif) cold
|
August 18th, 2009
07:25 pm - Troubles should not even be existed
Maybe now it's the time that i feel what you are feeling now.
Does this mean by "What comes around, goes around"?
Like what you said, I can feel what you are feeling.
So dont be sad, ngry or any negative feelings but just be happy.
And I'll be Happy.
I'll be here for you and I really thank you for being there for me when i need you.
Well, I hope to be your lucky girl.
Just that troubles come and stay for a period of time and go.
Yet, making it go can be a hassle.
I'll look for solutions to maintain status quo.
Hope you can too and just want to let you know that your heart will be securely protected by me.
"Cross my heart"- hand up
Current Mood: ![[mood icon]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/mood/charitycam/goth_girl/sad.gif) numb
|
|
|
![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif){kind=small}
demogogia's journal